Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Baby Steps

The first question you may have is, "Why Gastric Bypass?"  It is so permanent.  I have to be really honest and tell you that I had always felt gastric bypass was an easy way out, a cop out, cheating.  I felt that having the surgery was like saying I was a failure.  I had often talked myself out of the surgery because of what people would think of me.  Funny, I wasn't concerned with what they were thinking about me and the size I was!  

My doctor explained that the surgery would not only help me to loose the weight that I tried to loose and keep off time and time again, but that in many, it ended the diabetes the minute they made the cut!  What?  Seriously????  

I told a few friends I was considering it.  I was anticipating frowns and questions, but everyone was so supportive!

First I needed to contact my insurance and find out what I had to do to be approved for the surgery and where I had to have it done.  I made the call about a week after my doctor visit.  My insurance required me to be on a weight loss plan managed by a doctor for 6 months.  I also found out that I had to have the surgery at a center of excellence, there were three in my area.  I chose Northwestern downtown.  

The next step was to attend an informational  meeting about the procedure at Northwestern.  Rich and I went together.  (Yes we are still together after the affair.....LOL)  I sat there among many large companions.  I tried to rationalize that I wasn't the largest in the room ,but I wasn't the smallest either.  What did it matter?  Who knows!  I had read most of what was shared.  The most valuable part was when people who were weeks to years out from having the surgery spoke to us.  EVERY SINGLE ONE of them said that it was not easy, but they would do it again in a heartbeat.  One lady said, "I have learned to Eat to Live instead of Living to Eat."  WOW!  That is what my new mantra needed to be!  I will decided right then that we would move on.  

Baby step number three was going to see a psychologist to see if I was deemed  "mentally fit" to be approved to move forward in the surgery process.  I hear your thoughts!  LOL!  It was, however, a very enlightening experience.  

I began by telling him of my long term affair and my fear of one more failed weight loss attempt.  So many times I had been successful, would hit a stall, and end up heavier than I started.  And his response was, "So you are a perfectionist?  If you cannot do it perfectly why do it at all?"  Ummmm......exactly.  I always thought it was odd when people called me a perfectionist.  How could I be a perfectionist and be this big?  This part of me was not at all perfect!  Could my tendency to be a perfectionist be holding me  back from loosing weight?  I had only seen the man for a half and hour, and I felt so much better already.  Sadly, this doctor is not in my insurance plan, and I cannot afford him otherwise!  

And then I saw the nutritionist.  This visit was also very enlightening!  I am loving this center at Northwestern!  I was given given three challenges.  Just three.  I didn't have to keep track of points, weight or measure food, just these simple things? 

1. Journal my intake.  I use My Fitness Pal on my phone and love it! 

2. Eat 80-90 grams of protein a day.  (This will take more work, I am not a huge meat eater). 

3. Avoid foods with any form of sugar in the first three ingredients.  (Try it, you will be amazed!)

Finally, I felt someone gave me a simple plan that was not overwhelming.  I didn't believe it would be easy, but it was not too much to be on top of!  

The next 6 months involved monthly classes and weigh ins.  I have learned so very much.  I have not lost a ton of weight, my doctor says it is the insulin that is hindering me and that I would have actually gained weight had I not been doing what I was doing.  
So, finally, the time has come.  I will have surgery tomorrow.  I am super ready!  I know the weeks ahead will be challenging, but it will be worth it!  

I will post when I arrive home.  Thank you so much for your support and prayers.  This journey would not be possible without all of my wonderful friends! 

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